


Who your admiration is mostly reserved for

by judelaw



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: F/M, Fantastic Racism, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, Yonvers - Freeform, basically Yon-Rogg is struggling and only wants to be loved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 14:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19478212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/judelaw/pseuds/judelaw
Summary: Affection.Something Yon-Rogg had been yearning for all his life, something the Supreme Intelligence provided him with.And yet something he never truly felt until he met Vers.





	Who your admiration is mostly reserved for

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be a short one shot about Yon-Rogg and Minn-Erva based on the following part in 'Starforce on the Rise':
> 
> "[...]" Minn-Erva said. "[...] We'll be on our own."  
> "You like being on your own," Yon-Rogg replied. Minn-Erva smiled.
> 
> But it somehow turned into this.

He didn’t go out a lot. Battlefields were already hectic and loud enough – he didn’t need that in his free time as well. Hala, as the capital of the Kree Empire, had a lot to offer when it came to entertainment, entire sections of lower part of the city were dedicated to the pleasure of warriors and common Kree but, none of them ever interested him. Having grown up at the bottom of Hala he still was, as little as he wanted to admit that to himself, somewhat attached to it, especially the gym he had been going to since he was a child and that he still preferred over the much more advanced gyms the military had to offer. Yet he tried to keep his visits to a minimum. Yon-Rogg took no issue in lower Hala per se, he’d equally avoid the bars and entertainment places if they were located on the base, he just preferred his life outside the war to be as dull and uneventful as possible. Bars were always crowded, so much was going on that he was forced to see everything, forced to be prepared for anything. It was exhausting.

This time, however, he didn’t have much of a choice.

Yon-Rogg had just been promoted – to the rank of an officer, an honor Kree his age barely ever achieved – and the peers in his unit insisted to celebrate it. Yon knew he didn’t owe any of them to come along, especially not after having just saved all of their lives which had led to this promotion to begin with, but he simply didn’t have the energy to get into an argument with them.

So there he was, sitting at a bar that was mostly visited by Kree warriors, bored, tired and with an overwhelming desire to just go home. The group that had essentially dragged him along against his will was already drunk and seemingly had a lot of fun flirting and dancing with others. He wasn’t bitter in any way, in fact he was glad they obviously enjoyed their time, but he simply didn’t understand the appeal of it. Neither of the drinking (he was still nipping on the first drink he had ordered when they had arrived hours ago), nor of the dancing (something he never enjoyed) and _certainly_ not of the flirting. Yon couldn’t even remember the last time he had flirted with anyone, but it probably had to be at some point in his youth. Unlike most other Kree around his age, he had never shown any particular interest in having one-night stands or occasionally hooking up with someone. His disapproval of such activities wasn’t necessarily routed in a refusal to have sex at all – though he considered it a distraction from more important things – but rather in the nonchalant nature of them. If anything he was more interested in _attaching_ his strings not loosening them.

Not that it mattered of course as he couldn’t have a relationship. His devotion and loyalty was exclusively reserved for the Supreme Intelligence. And they were the only one offering affection anyway.

He couldn’t describe what his relationship with the Supremor was other than saying it was the typical dedication of a Kree warrior to their leader – though he wasn’t quite sure if it _actually_ was all that typical – but thankfully he didn’t have to anyway. Meetings with the Supreme Intelligence were something private and personal, something he wasn’t allowed to share. And he didn’t want to either.

Perhaps it was just wishful thinking but Yon-Rogg liked to imagine the Supremor was interested in him, that there was a certain fondness in their voice and touch when they had promoted him. And whether it was real or just a lie he told himself, he wanted to cling to it as it was all he had.

A romantic relationship with a fellow Kree would only threaten everything he had worked so hard for. All the respect and recognition he so desperately yearned for was right within his reach – and he would never let anyone come in between him and the Supremor.

Taking the last sip of his admittedly awful drink, Yon-Rogg was finally about to leave – or rather secretly sneak out as his peers, even though they barely gave him any attention, still didn’t want him to go - until someone caught his eye.

He had seen her before. Not on a battlefield, he knew she was a sniper and unlike him never at the front, but on the training grounds. She must have been a few years younger than him but already had an amazing career and started to make a name for herself around the base. To say he admired her would be an overstatement but he was impressed by her skills and had always wanted to talk to her.

Yon-Rogg couldn’t even say why, perhaps he was just drawn to extraordinary people, but without a second thought he walked over to her to introduce himself.

“Hello,” he began quite awkwardly when he had reached the corner she was sitting in. She wasn’t alone but in the company of two friends which made it even harder for him to think of something proper to say without coming across the wrong way. He didn’t want to flirt with or hit on her but rather sincerely compliment her talents yet somehow that made it even harder to speak. Facing a Skrull was so much easier than this. “I’m Yon-Rogg.”

The group looked at him, something pejorative in their eyes, before her two friends stood up to get another round of drinks. It was an expression he sadly was all too familiar with but he decided to ignore it for now and not let himself get diverted by this.

“Okay,” the woman stated dryly, obviously not very interested in him.

As little experience he had with talking to strangers he still understood when he wasn’t welcome. He respected her silent wish and was about to go, however he couldn’t help himself but to quickly voice why he had approached her at all.

“I just wanted to say I’ve seen you shoot a few times and your skills are really astonishing.”

He was quite sure how to properly phrase this without seeming inappropriate so his wording came off a bit odd. Not that it mattered a lot as the woman had no actual attentiveness for him either way. Her bored stare turned into some kind of amusement which he immediately recognized as the spite it was however it was already too late to get out of the situation now.

“Something you can’t relate to, I guess,” she remarked derogatorily as she scrutinized him from head to toe. Yon shivered slightly, not out of fear but due to his discomfort.

Officially racism didn’t exist anymore as all Kree, no matter what skin color, had the same rights and technically the same opportunities. However it continued to live in a lot of blue skinned Kree, especially those of wealthy and famous families. Having been born pale, and even as the _only_ pale in the family, he had been growing up with rejection and was used to getting pushed around. His parents, while not instantly throwing him out of the house, tried to ignore his mere existence and rather focused on his blue brother. Up to a certain point in their lives he had always protected him from older bullies, sometimes even from their parents, until he one day suddenly stopped, telling Yon-Rogg to grow up.

He had started going to the gym then, determined to prove to everyone he was just as good as any blue, just as able to protect the citizen of Hala. And now that all his hard work slowly got rewarded he was even more eager to prove it. Unlike a lot of his superiors, the Supreme Intelligence didn’t care about the color of his skin and hair. They treated him well. Better than anyone ever had.

And the encounter with her had only once more showed him there was no point in seeking any relationships that surpassed the status of being colleagues.

The Supreme Intelligence was all he needed.

It took Yon-Rogg a moment to realize he wasn’t that small boy anymore who couldn’t defend himself. That he even was of a higher rank than her. If he wanted he could put her in her place but what was the point in that? Punishing her would only result in frustration instead of changing her believes that were routed so deeply within her. He would have to _prove_ to her she was wrong instead of prosecuting her for _being_ wrong.

Yon-Rogg smiled slightly.

“If you are willing to have a drink with me you can judge it for yourself,” he suggested despite not believing she’d take his offer.

She laughed out loud.

“I like drinking on my own.”

That was final.

When he left the bar that night he had hoped to never see her again, or at least to not being forced to interact with her, but the faster he climbed up those ranks, the closer he came to their unwanted reunion.

“ _Yon-Rogg_.”

“Your Intelligence,” he replied as unemotional as possible. The meeting was spontaneous to him and came without any warning. There was nothing he could report to them and he usually got his missions directly from his superiors, not from the Supremor themselves, so he saw no point in talking to them. Unless he had unknowingly done something wrong.

“You are wondering why you are here,” they commented as if they just guessed correctly instead of being able to directly read his mind.

He nodded even though it was unnecessary.

The smile they showed him had, as much as he appreciated it, always seemed weird to him. He was looking into his own face, no doubt, but the smile had never been his. There was something rather unsettling about having to look at himself, having to talk with himself, but the Supreme Intelligence always only chose who one admired the most so it certainly was his fault not theirs.

A gesture signaled him to come closer which he hesitantly followed. He didn’t like not knowing the reason the Intelligence wanted to speak to him as it meant he couldn’t brace himself for a predicted reaction. When they reached out to him it took an enormous effort not to flinch but he managed to stand still, immediately relaxing when he realized they were just putting an arm around him.

“We are _very_ pleased with you,” the Supremor announced in a tone that suggested he wasn’t here to get punish for something which was a huge relief.

“Thank you, your Intelligence.”

“Your hard work and service will get rewarded, Yon-Rogg.”

“Serving you is a reward in itself,” he replied honestly. Yon knew how lucky he was to have even gotten this far in his life and all of this was just thanks to the Supremor. They had guided and pushed him, made him to the warrior he was today.

His superiors’ efforts in telling him to stop being emotional, especially after the loss of a team mate, to stop dreaming, to stop yearning, had always been in vain, no matter how hard they punished him. But the Supremor’s faith and affection had succeeded in making him the commander he was today.

He couldn’t possibly imagine what higher reward there was.

They had walked a few steps with him before letting go again and placing themselves ceremonially in front of him. The hand that had previously held onto his arm not rested on the middle of his chest where an odd sensation began to occur. It wasn’t the kind of pain he was used to but rather something warm and fulfilling.

When the hand left his body again, a star decorated his shirt, causing even more confusion than he had already felt before.

“You want me to join the Starforce?” he asked hesitantly, afraid of getting laughed at for having such a ridiculous idea. The Starforce was the elite of the Kree Empire. The best warriors they had to offer. No pale Kree ever had the honor of joining them so it was absolutely ludicrous to assume that’s what they meant.

“No,” his mirrored image of himself replied. Two letters that instantly shattered the little hope he had allowed himself have. “I want you to _lead_ them.”

He must have misheard that.

“I need my _best_ warrior for this job,” they explained, knowing exactly how much it meant to him to get complimented like that.

Yon-Rogg still couldn’t believe it, couldn’t _understand_ it but he would never dare to question the Intelligence’s decisions.

“I will not disappoint you.”

“I know you won’t,” the Supremor said as they turned away from him. “You better won't.”

He bowed slightly, more eager than ever to please his leader. Failure wasn’t an option.

Yon-Rogg would _never_ disappoint them.

He wasn’t someone who held grudges or even sought revenge so when the Supreme Intelligence announced Minn-Erva would become a part of the Starforce he was actually glad to have another valuable warrior on his team instead of still dismissing her for something she had said years ago. And, just like him, she also completely ignored they have had a previous encounter.

Something about her had changed though, he could tell. Something about the way she looked at him. The previous disgust was now replaced with admiration and Yon-Rogg liked to believe she had fundamentally changed instead of just seeing him as an exception to the rule. The rule of how much more inferior pale Kree were to blue ones.

Over the years, he had learnt he didn’t need her approval, or anyone’s for that matter – the only approval that mattered was the one of the Intelligence. Everyone else was secondary at best.

So when one day Minn-Erva asked if he wanted to go and get a drink with her somewhere, just the two of them, he had smiled politely but shook his head.

“I like drinking on my own.”

He still didn’t like going out a lot. Battlefields were even more hectic and loud now that he was responsible for his entire team – yet he spent a ridiculous amount in bars. Unlike him, Vers seemed to have the time of her life getting drunk, dancing and singing to songs she didn’t even know – couldn’t even know. But somehow that made him happy as well. Despite being the opposite of dull and uneventful, he preferred to be with her over anything else in his life.

She already was quite tipsy when he hadn’t even finished one third of his glass yet but he didn’t plan to drink the entire thing anyway.

“You are no fun,” Vers nagged, letting herself fall onto the chair next to him to lean her head on his shoulder.

“One of us has to make sure _you_ are getting home tonight.”

“I can do that on my own,” she whined, pretending she didn’t know which nights he was referring to. “At least dance with me!”

“He never dances, twinklefists,” Minn-Erva commented seemingly annoyed much to Yon’s disapproval.

“C’mon!” having jumped off the chair and somehow managed to not fall over she now was pulling on his sleeve to make him follow her. He didn’t move.

“No, thank you.”

There was something about her that almost made him say yes – and judging by the previous times she had asked him to do something he didn’t want to it was only a matter of time until he would agree to this as well.

Vers was so different from Minn-Erva, from the Supreme Intelligence, from him or anyone he knew. And that wasn’t just because she was from a different planet and belonged to an entirely different species. She was special. And he was always drawn to that.

She made a frustrated sound before ordering another drink which didn’t went unnoticed by Minn-Erva. Yon-Rogg knew she was about to tell her to stop as _he_ was paying for the drinks tonight and social norms would require Vers to ask him first before getting anything but he seriously didn’t mind. A glance was enough to shut Minn-Erva up to not spoil any of Vers’ fun.

“I’ve got the same drink you got,” Vers exclaimed, sitting down next to him again. “To see if I too need that long.”

He smiled amused: “Probably not.”

And in fact she swallowed the entire thing in one go.

“You are too slow, old man.”

Yon-Rogg could already hear Minn-Erva’s offended gasp. Before she could say something however he had pushed Vers enough to throw her off balance, making her almost fall of the chair if he wouldn’t have held her.

“ _You_ are too slow.”

Vers grinned and so did he.

The Intelligence hadn’t been too fond of his decision to take her to Hala, let alone of him saving her life with his blood as they had the technology to extract the energy of the core without keeping her alive but he didn’t consider that to be fair. Vers was a warrior. She wasn’t Kree and helped a traitor, yes, but she was willing to die to do what she thought was right. And after all that was what a noble warrior hero would do, wasn’t it?

He had managed to convince the Intelligence she could be a valuable addition to the team and promised to take the responsibility for her. Something he had to do quite a lot.

But it was worth it.

_So worth it._

“What so I need to do to get you to the dance floor?” Vers asked and looked at him like it was a serious topic they really _needed_ to discuss.

“Beat me without using your powers,” he offered. At this point he would give anything in exchange for her to finally control herself during their training sessions. He hadn’t run out of methods yet but he refused to try the ones his superiors had made use of.

Vers suddenly lashed out, grinning brightly as she hit his arm: “Ha! Got you!”

“Not like this, Ve-” Yon-Rogg sighed. “Okay, fine. You won.”

He would _have_ to give in one day anyway.

Happy about her victory, even though she _technically_ just used a loophole, she dragged Yon-Rogg along to the dance floor. People, recognizing first him and then the clothes they both were wearing, immediately stepped aside to give them more room – something Vers still had to get used to while Yon almost didn’t notice it anymore.

Opening his arms to say _‘Here I am’_ he looked at her mischievously.

“You need to move to dance,” Vers explained, drunkenly thinking he may really not know that.

“I said I’d go to the dance floor. Not that I would dance.”

“That’s cheating!”

“Look at who’s talking.”

Despite being a bit disappointed she still laughed causing him to laugh as well. They were surrounded by a lot of Kree, most of which were fellow warriors and all of which at least secretly looked at them but Yon-Rogg didn’t see them. He didn’t see Minn-Erva’s jealous glare either. All he saw was Vers.

She was all that mattered to him.

Vers treated him like he was _someone_. All his life people had been looking down on him, insulting and degrading him for a condition he had no influence on. His family had disowned him, his superiors laughed about him and even Minn-Erva had refused to talk to him until he was the leader of the Starforce, the poster boy of the Kree Empire. Now everyone looked up to him, idolized him. He had wanted to reach this point all his life, achieved far more than he had ever dared to dream of. 

But it wasn’t until he had found her that he really realized what he had been searching for all his life.

And suddenly he wasn’t so sure anymore if he would never disappoint the Supreme Intelligence.


End file.
